


Restart (From Zero)

by watersylph



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Songfic, hyungwonho rise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 08:05:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12602068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watersylph/pseuds/watersylph
Summary: Hyungwon and Hoseok both regret everything they've done





	Restart (From Zero)

**Author's Note:**

> my first attempt at MX fic. hope you enjoy:)

It was in the middle of winter, when frozen snow fell slowly to the ground. Hyungwon stood on his foot, stay still while looking into a shadow just below the street light. Right there, a young man at his age looked back, slowly making his way to him. Before he could mutter something, that man is now standing in front of him, hands still on his pocket, showing that he’s just as freeze as Hyungwon.

“Hi.” Hyungwon managed to let out a shaky voice. The man grinned slightly. “You looks—good.” Hyungwon added, can’t even hide a little sarcasm on his voice. The man still not replied. “I just, passed this way and suddenly you there. Doesn’t mean that I stalk—you.” Hyungwon paused, realizing that he’s now rambling words.

The shorter man still won’t open his mouth, so Hyungwon decided he has to walk away. “Well, just dont mind what I’ve said earlier.” Then Hyungwon stepped forward.

“Chae Hyungwon.” That man called. Hyungwon froze on his spot, he turned around to see if he misheard or something. “You called me?” Hyungwon pointed himself. “Who else is here and has a name like you?” that man replied.

Hyungwon just stared at him confusely. “Can we talk?” that man requested, Hyungwon nodded slowly, uncertain what is it to be talked over them, again. “Let’s find somewhere more private.”

***  
“Listen, Hoseok. You’re not supposed to be here, with me. You supposed to cuddled at home, with your new boy—“ but the man stopped him right away before he even finished his sentence, “Hyungwon, listen. I’m not here to listen at your sarcasm sentence. I’m here to—apologize.” 

Hyungwon smiled blandly.

“How were you these days?” Hyungwon asked as they walked through the night into a quiet park besides a freezing small river. The place is just perfect for them to talk privately. Hoseok sat up in a bench before answering, “As you can see.”

Then Hyungwon followed by sitting next to him.

“And how were you?” Hoseok asked back. Hyungwon looked through the night, “Same as you, I guess.”  
Hoseok gave him bitter smile as a reply, “So, you looked just like a piece of branch in my old house? It’s worse than me, Won.”

Hyungwon grinned, and now Hoseok smiles back to reply. A real smile. Well it’s good to see Hoseok smiles, like right now. “Good to see you, you know?” Hyungwon uttered words he has been keeping since they met in the street.

Hoseok smiled again. A true sincere smile.

***  
It was months after their continuous fight. Day and night, everytime they met, they would end up arguing each other.

“Chaebugi! Hey! You! Chae Hyungwon!” it was only Kihyun who dare to screamed right besides his ear. “I will seriously kill you if you don’t answer me again.” He frowned. Hyungwon lazily looked at his angry face, which he found it cute after years of friendship. “You will destroy my ears, you tiny Hamster.” Hyungwon replied with a joke, but Kihyun is not in a mood of joke.

“Okay, what did you want me to do?” Hyungwon finally turned his face from his book to his dearest friend. “Eat. You barely eat for weeks. Don’t you realise your weight is coming down rapidly? You’re already a paper doll, don’t make it as a dust, you fool!”

“Hearing you nag like this makes me want to disappear into a thin dust.” Hyungwon replied, fixed his gaze back at his book. He received a back slap as a reply to his answer. “Seriously, Frog.” Kihyun steal his book away. “Come downstair and eat. I don’t take a no. You know that.”

Hyungwon groaned, “Ki, I can take care of myself okay?! Just keep your nose away.” Hyungwon shifted in his bed, retaking his book from Kihyun.

Kihyun walked outside as he steal and threw Hyungwon’s book again into his room. “You better come down in 5 or I’ll drag you away!” Kihyun’s voice could be heard even from his now closed door. Hyungwon sighed.

***  
“Hyuuung!” This time it’s Changkyun who yelled at him. “I hear you Chang, please, my ears were already hurt because of Kihyun. Don’t make it worse.” Hyungwon frowned. “Well, you don’t hear me when I called you nicely, so yeah.” Changkyun replied. He fixed up his position so he could face Hyungwon properly. “You look passed out this whole time, hyung.” He said with a pout. Hyungwon tapped Changkyun’s pout with his lanky finger, “I’m not.”

Changkyung crossed his arm, “If you don’t, then why you didn’t hear me?” Hyungwon taken aback, he know Changkyun got his mind right. “You’re just—I just, don’t want to.” He replied. Changkyun sighed, “C’mon, you’ve never been tired of me and now you do? It’s funny hyung.”

Hyungwon rolled his eyes, “Agree, that’s funny. Then why are you so nosy all of a sudden? It’s so unlike you, Im Changkyun.” Changkyun nodded at Hyungwon’s words, “Exactly, I want to know something about you, hyung.” He added.

“Is ten years of our life still not please you?” Hyungwon ironically states. Changkyun furrowed his brows, “No, hyung. It’s different. You’re changing too much these weeks, and you looked like a walking branch zombie. That’s enough to worry me.”  
Hyungwon gave Changkyun a smile, “Nothing to worried my baby.” He pinched Changkyun’s cheek and Changkyun groaned at that.

“I have to leave, see you tomorrow.” Hyungwon stood up and patted Changkyun’s hair before he left.

***  
“Yeah. So? Hoseok, you already told me about this before, and now? What is this again?” Hyungwon frowned. He threw the papers Hoseok gave him to the sofa. All of his copy about their now-bland-messages.

“This? This is what I called evidence. I can’t take your promises as an evidence so yeah this is it.”

“You’re crazy enough to copy this.”

“Well not as crazy as you, who suddenly become an asshole. Well not so sudden, knowing that we’re like this for months.”

Hyungwon froze in his place, Hoseok’s words is enough to boil his blood up, but he tried to calm down. They both need to calm down.

“Hoseok, stop. We can’t talk like this everytime.” He looked at Hoseok who got a fire on his usually-calm eyes.

“You’re the one who started this, Hyungwon.” Hoseok replied almost in a disappearing voice. His tears suddenly well up from anger.

“Then tell me how can I fix that for you!” unconsciously Hyungwon screeched and he regrets that immediately cause Hoseok looked surprised.

“You don’t have to scream at me.” Hoseok stated. He looked at now-full-of-guilty eyes of Hyungwon. He didn’t believe that his boyfriend could scream this loud. Not at him, at least.

“I’m sorry. Hoseok! Hoseok! Hey, Shin Hoseok!” Hyungwon tried to call his boyfriend who already left his sight. Hyungwon sighed, “Damn!”

***

To : Hoseok, Shin [15:48pm]  
“Hey, it’s me. I’m sorry, for screaming at you.”  
“It wasn’t my intention”

To : My Chaebugi [20:03pm]  
“Don’t worry.”  
“It’s fine.”

To : Hoseok, Shin [20:05pm]  
“Glad to hear that.”

[reads at 20:06pm]  
Changed My Chaebugi to Hyungwon

***

Hoseok frowned. He buried his head over a thick book. “Hey. Shin Hoseok. What happened?” it’s Hyunwoo’s voice, Hoseok can recognize it. “Nothing,” he replied, “things just got so complicated.” He added. Hyunwoo took over his book. “What is that about? I know you’re not smart enough to hide your story.”

Hoseok took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s just, I think that Hyungwon had changed so much nowadays. I barely recognize him as my boyfriend now.” He states with a soft voice.”Minhyuk knew this?” Hyunwoo asked. Hoseok shook his head, “Don’t let that navy-haired boy know this. He’ll mess things up.” 

Hyunwoo rub a circle on his back, and Hoseok smiled to thank him. “Smile like that. You’re far from handsome if you frowned just like before.” Hyunwoo gave a grin, tried to soothe his friend’s mind. “Thanks, Hyunwoo.”

***  
“You sure you won’t freaked out and make a mess?” Hoseok is now face to face with Minhyuk. The navy-haired boy make a lip-sealing gestures, “Never.”

“Well, I think that Hyungwon is more likely an asshole now. We fights everytime we met, like its the only right thing to do. Which I know it is not. Minhyuk, you know he’s not like that before right? He was so soft and I felt nice and safe to be around him, but now, its likely I never want to see him again. He rarely text me first, he rarely compliment me, or even go on a date with me. I feel like everything has been changed to the state we’re not more than a stranger who met randomly, something like that.”

Minhyuk listened carefully while Hoseok continuing his stories with some overreaction face, but he stay still, not even stood up like he did before if Hoseok gets hurt by Hyungwon. This time it’s different. It’s much more serious.

The next day, without Hoseok’s knowing, he made up his way to Hyungwon’s building.

“Woah, Chae Hyungwon, I didn’t know you could be a bastard to Hoseok. Do you know how much he hurts just because of your stupid, silly acts?!” and with that Hyungwon become the main attention of his class.

Right at the moment, Hoseok and Hyunwoo showed up to drag the navy-haired Minhyuk and with no time to apologize cause Hyungwon had a class right away, Hoseok left and their fight becoming more and more serious.

***

“Hyungwon, you should talk to Hoseok. I mean really talking, not just fighting.” Motherly voiced Kihyun showed up in Hyungwon’s room. This time with Jooheon, their other friends.”Yeah, hyung, Minhyuk-hyung were already spread false gossip about you.” He added. Kihyun faced him again. “Talk, before things get worse.”  
Hyungwon stay still, playing over his smartphone and not replying but his mind is in chaos. “What should I do, Ki?”

***

The next day, Hyungwon planned to talk things with Hoseok but Hoseok caught him first.

“Let’s talk at the back.” He said, bitter smile plastered on his fake bright face. Hyungwon noticed this as a bad signals. “Yeah, sure.”  
When they reached the back of the building, Hoseok let out a sigh. 

“I’m here to apologize to you, if that’s what you were going to say.” Hyungwon rushes before Hoseok open up his mouth to talk. His face grimmed at Hyungwon’s words.

“Hyungwon, look, I’m sorry but I can’t stand this any longer. I could’ve been forgive you before, but you know its just too late for both of us.” Hoseok finally speak and it automatically made Hyungwon froze on his place.

“What do you mean?” was Hyungwon's only response.

Hoseok took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, “We better breaking up.” He said, deep sigh and eyes down.

It takes pretty much time for Hyungwon to understand those words. He stay silence for a moment before replying, “Why—“  
“You changed a lot, I can’t deal with that.” Hoseok cut him straight, “I’m sorry.”

That was all before Hoseok left Hyungwon alone in the building.

***

“Frog, what’s happened?” Kihyun noticed Hyungwon’s grimmed face when the latter came back to their share house. Hyungwon didn’t bother to reply and shut his door up. “Frog, hey.” Kihyun tried to knock on his door but silence was all he got.

“Jooheon? Yeah, I think something is up with Hyungwon. Can you ask Changkyun what was that about? Well, Changkyun was with him all the time. Stick like a glue. What? No, I’m not jealous. Don’t turn the topic. Just ask Changkyun.”

Kihyun hung up the phone and back to Hyungwon’s room. It is already 3 hours and Hyungwon hadn’t been out after he came back before, and Kihyun starts to worry. He knocked at Hyungwon’s door again.

“Hyungwon-ah. Can I come in?” he asked, but yeah of course there’s no reply. “Did you sleep? Well I can leave you now, but make sure you eat something when you’re up. I’ll heat the food for you.” Kihyun added.

Meanwhile inside, Hyungwon is staring at his phone continuously, hoping that Hoseok will call him somehow. He’s still not believed on what Hoseok’s said to him. It feels unreal. After a while, he can’t stand a little longer so he decided to call him first.  
The ringtone is getting longer and longer, but there’s no sign as if Hoseok will answer that, so Hyungwon gave up. He throw his phone away and choose to sleep.

***

Hoseok wakes up when the sunray greets his eyes. It is 7am in Sunday, Minhyuk and Hyunwoo were still at their room by now and it relaxed him. His two friend won’t be happy if they see Hoseok’s damp and puffy eyes. Well he did cries a lot. He still felt something was missing deep down in his heart.

Hoseok was the one who broke Hyungwon, isn’t he supposed to be at ease? Why did he feel so empty right now?

“Hoseok hyung? You okay?” it’s Minhyuk’s voice that greeted him when he reach the kitchen. “Oh, you woke up?” Hoseok slightly surprised. Minhyuk nodded and yawned. “I’m hungry so I need some toast. You? Isn’t this too early for you to wake?” Minhyuk asked back.

Hoseok shook his head, “I’m hungry too.” He answered. “Well Hyunwoo hyung bought some ramyun for you last night.” Minhyuk pointed at their fridge. “Thanks.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Minhyuk suddenly ask when Hoseok was busy cooking ramyun. “What? Yes of course. I’m good.” Hoseok answered bitterly. “We know how much Hyungwon means to you, but he’s too—“

“Minhyuk, stop. I’m okay. Really.” Hoseok replied, hands turning off the stove. He gave Minhyuk a fake smile and walked to the living room. Just then he stared blankly at the TV. Is he making the right choice to break up with Hyungwon?

***  
“So, Hyungwon and Hoseok are breaking up now?”

“Not surprised, Minhyuk said that Hyungwon is a complete asshole for our Hoseok.”

“Hey, Hyungwon is not an asshole, he’s just care at his own way. It’s Hoseok who is stupid enough to broke him up.”

“You know what, recently I saw Hoseok on a date with Youngjae.”

“So he was making up a reason to dump Hyungwon? Great.”

“But Hyungwon always had Changkyun on his side. I think Hyungwon loves Changkyun more than Hoseok.”

“I barely saw them on a date these months. I think that’s when their relationship started to crack.”

“How cruel Hyungwon is. He’s not that good-looking to dump Hoseok.”

“Yeah. He’s blind for dumping Hoseok just for Changkyun.”

“Changkyun is not that great compared to Hoseok.”

“Yeah Hoseok is so damn sexy and Changkyun is just a bookworm.”

Just like that, gossips spread to the entire university and begin to make Hyungwon sick. Fortunately he’s just a step closer to graduate.

***  
“Well they also talked about me, and that’s not fair.” Changkyun complained for like a hundred times to Hyungwon and Kihyun. “They said I steal Hyungwon hyung from Hoseok hyung. I dont even know that they’re breaking up.” He frowned. Kihyun only laughed. “I’m sorry that it turns out like this.” Hyungwon surprised both of them with his apologize.

“I don’t mean that way, hyung.” Changkyun softly said. Kihyun just stare at him with his motherly eyes, “You don’t have to be sorry, Frog. Things just—yeah well, anyway it’s not your fault.” He added. “Thanks, Ki.”

***  
“It was the most painful memories I had about you. I regret it everytime I thought I didn’t make enough time for you.” Hyungwon started. He looked away at the night sky. “I think that maybe you’re right. I’m an asshole, who didn’t care about you, who only gave you bitter pain than a sweet happiness.”

“I heard you’re dating Jackson Wang after you broke up with me?”

Hyungwon bitterly chuckled, “No, he is Jooheon’s boyfriend and he listened to my story a lot, so I’m kind of hanging out often with him.”

Hoseok placed a relieved smile, “I thought you’re completely forget about me. Everytime Hyunwoo and Minhyuk set me up on a blind date, I end up thinking them as you. Or at least compared them to you. It sucks you know? I’m the one who decided to broke up with you but I feel more miserable as you walk away.”

“At least you’re not suffering from my asshole habit. I’m really sorry, for ignoring your messages back then, for being a complete bastard to the bone. It’s just—I’m having a lot of thing in my mind. I should’ve shared them with you but at that time it just feel not right. So it makes me ignore everything, include you, who shouldn’t have to be treated like that. I’m really sorry.”

Hoseok stared at Hyungwon’s sincere eyes. “I do apologize for being so selfish, more than you. I should’ve known when you have such a problem. I don’t even think of that and for being a nuisance for you, I’m sorry. I just put the blame on you, and screamed at you, and yeah—I did a lot of bad things to you.”

“Hoseok, how could we ended up like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“How nice it would be if we talk things like this before, right?” Hyungwon stared back at Hoseok’s eyes. Hoseok inhales great amount of cold air.

“Yeah, how nice it would be?”

“Can we start things again?”

“From Zero?”

“Yeah, from Zero.”

***  
To : Shin Hoseok

This was for you, long before we met tonight.

“I know that I’m not perfect, and I’m sorry for the things I couldn’t do  
I thought that even like that, you would always be by my side,  
But then I was tricked by the time again  
I can’t erase our memeories,  
I can’t even forget a single thing about you  
But if it can’t be reversed, can we start again now?  
I fell in love with you first,  
And now you could try to love me first  
Still, if it can’t be reversed, would you mind to start again?  
Please trust me once more  
We are standing here, from zero  
And I want to know everything about you again  
Even if it’s difficult, I want you back in my embrace  
Now lets turn around again, together, just like the beginning”

**Author's Note:**

> should I make another one? comments and critics are very appreciated, reach me on twitter @watersylph514


End file.
